Colors
by IXshadowkissedXI
Summary: Will Kendall live! Whats James's secret! Would Logan ever date Kendall. Will they understand? Does Katie get it? Will Mrs. Knight be mad! Life-Death. Gay-Bi-Straight.  "Kendall..." the figures voices grow louder and louder. they grab at me SLASH SLASH!
1. Chapter 1

This is my first slash story of BTR. And my first BTR story. I hope you like it! This story is told from the point of view of Kendall. I just adore Kendall! His hair and his eye's and, and, and just everything about him! Okay calm down girl…deep breaths… alright! So its Kendall and Logan who are in love! But they don't know that…life as a teen is hard for them and while being in a boy band and everything, the press finding out would be pretty difficult to live with. But wait! Logan doesn't know Kendall is gay! Nobody does except for Kate! And Mrs. Knight who denies the truth. How will Logan live his life in hiding? Well! The answer is!

I open my eyes to the bright sun shining on my face. I turn over muffling a yawn and try to go back to sleep. I fall into a light slumber and wake up to the guys jumping on my bed like it's a bounce house.

"What…" I ask questioningly as I rock back and forth under my covers.

"Common man you gotta wake up!" Logan yells happily with excitement and falls down next to me. Only to shake me instead of a good morning hug. Damn I wish Logan was gay…

"Hey! Your mom finished breakfast!" Carlos jumps off the bed only to fall on a pile of dirty laundry. "Eep!" he shrieks at the top of his lungs like a little girl when he realizes his face fell on some underwear of mine, which earns him a big laughs from me and the rest of the guys. "That's sick man!" he shouts jokingly and runs off to the bathroom.

"My face is too precious to land in some undies." James states as he delicately lowers himself down from to 3 foot high bed.

"Your such a weenie!" Logan calls after him while James decides to fix his not even close to messy hair.

"Okay…then…" I say while looking at Logan questioningly.

"Shhh…listen…" Logan and I stay silent, his hands still on me shoulders since he shook me, the closest to a hug I would get…

Then we hear Carlos shriek like a girl again. We burst out laughing. "There's a spider in my bathroom!"

"I found a little hoping spider on one of your moms plants and thought it would be funny to put him in Carlos's bathroom." He announces to me and laughs a little. He realizes he still has his hands on my shoulders and takes them off while apologizing.

"Eh, no worries man." I say calm and coolly, hoping I'm not blushing.

"K. How' bout something to eat?" Logan slides off the bed lending me a hand to help me down. I wave it away, trying not to show how much I wish I hadn't.

"I got it, I got it. What's for breakfast?" I slide off the bed, avoiding underwear, and walked out the bedroom door into the kitchen to be welcomed by my mom serving pancakes and Katie filling some glasses with juice.

"Morning Kendall!" Katie runs up to me with a big hug. Every since I admitted to being gay she's been more excepting of me, and also acting like I am her new older "sister".

"Hey kiddo what's up?" I smile down at her while messing with her hair.

"Well for one thing my hair now." she laughs and tries the fix the mangled hairs "Gosh your so annoying." she giggles and continues to fill glasses.

"Kendall your not going to stay in your pajamas all morning are you?" Mom states with a disused tone "At least put on a shirt. Nobody wants to see you topless." she glares.

"Yeah mom, sure." I give her my "oh ya? Just wait till the future" look and she just nods her head towards my door. I go in to put on a shirt.

"She just doesn't understand…" I grumble to myself.

"Or she doesn't want to… maybe she's afraid of what might happen if this leaks out…" I turn around to find my sister foundling with my underwear, attempting to fold them with no means necessary.

"One, that's my dirty pile…" I laugh as I point at the pile of dirty clothes.

"Ew!" she shrieks while throwing them at me, right in face too.

"Two…" I start as I toss them back in the pile "she just see's what she wants. Me being gay just isn't there in her world." I sit on my bed, now wearing a shirt, and I stare at the photos of me and my palls.

"Well…its kind of new for her…I guess she just doesn't know how to react and take it in." Kate puts a welcoming hand on my shoulder.

"Well. Its been a year and I've got nothing. I've tried talking to her and explaining it but she doesn't want to here me speak about it, its like I'm an unwelcome guest in her life." I pull my hair back and lie down on the bed, arms behind my head.

Katie sighs heavily by my side, shrugs, then copies my posture. "Its just change for her. You know how she does with change, its her least favorite thing to do because she has to get used to something different." Katie fuss's around with her hair.

"Okay…you got a point…" I nod slowly to myself pondering her somehow wise words. "Three, how do u think the band is taking her changed emotions and attitude? Do they notice anything different? They're not catching on are they?" I sit up, crossing my legs, and look at Katie with worried eyes.

She mimics my figure, giggles, and replies. "Well Logan seems a little more curios of you and that's why he's been hanging near you more. Carlos is oblivious to everything. And as for James. Well…he seems to be lurking around trying to uncover your secrets." she keeps in a secret and I just stare at her, waiting for more to be revealed. She says nothing and I give her a look that I know she's hiding something, but I don't force the secret out of her.

"You can tell me when your ready, okay?" I smile at her lightly.

"Okay. Thank you." she nods, gets off the bed, and out to the kitchen with the others.

"I'll find out sooner or later. But for now lets eat!" I say excitedly to myself trying to keep my spirits up as I go out to eat.

"Kendall. Kendall! KENDALL!" Logan sings out as I enter the room. Everyone stares and smile at him then continue to eat.

I pull up a chair in between him and Katie. My mom glares at me, I give her a dirty look back to tick her off. Anger flourishes in her eyes and she notices a little bit of attention from James, she stops and acts like nothing happened.

"So how'd everyone sleep?" Katie quickly yet calmly pipes in to try and break the tense silence.

"I got wonders of beauty sleep!" Carlos screams out as he posses like James to make fun of him, James rolls his eyes.

"Oh ya?" Kendal does some weird hands around his face pose, stunningly looking normal and not creepy. "Can't beat my beauty sleep boy! Oh! Pwned!" James sits back down, pulls out a pocket mirror and fixes his regular hair into perfection.

"Um… okay then…" Logan says from my side. "I think we all got our beauty sleep." he smiles. "Now who wants to here the big news?" he announces proudly.

Everyone stays silent, leans in, and waits for his surprise.

"I'm gay." he smiles sheepishly and blushes.

"YES!" I jump up out of my seat, realize the glares, and quickly sit down and hide my face.

"Now Logan I know you may feel a little curious about dating the same sex, but don't do something you'll regret…we all know your not gay…even you…so don't do this to yourself…" My mom leans across the table trying to reach out to him warningly, hope in her eyes that she can convince him he's straight.

He stands up, slamming his hands on the table. "Don't you dare tell me who I am! don't you dare make my decisions for me! You are not my mom and never will be!" Logan runs out of the front door, slamming it in his heist.

"Mom!" I yell at her with fiery. "Let Logan do what he wants! It's been hard on him since he left his house! You know that! Give him some space!" I start yelling and rambling.

"Kendall…" my mom looks at me with saddened eyes. I fast change in emotion. She reaches her arm out at me, calling my name. "Kendall…" first soft then louder.

"Kendall…" James and Carlos join in. Their voices growing stronger.

"Kendall?" Katie's voice is rigged and scared. I grab onto her hand and pull her away from the three nameless figures, their bodies a blur but their words strong and now loud.

"KENDALL…" louder and louder. Growing, coming close. I bolt out the door pulling Katie behind. I spot Logan.

"Lo-!" my voice cuts and I cant speak. I'm running in one spot as Logan and everyone gets further away.

"Stop, stop, stop!" Katie is screaming as the nameless figures pull her and I apart, breaking our grip with one another.

"Katie!" I yell out and feel tears burning my face. I whip around and punch the figure holding me in the face. As soon as my fist makes contact with its head, it changes into Carlos, agonizing pain on his face.

"Kendall…" he calls out, the same tone as the other figures, acting as if the punch could be worse.

Carlos falls to the ground and just stares. Cold and lost eyes release tears. All the figures turn to family and friends, the start to cry.

Arms wrap around me and hold me warmly.

"Its okay…relax…you're going to be alright…" Katie looks up at me with bright eyes, a graceful smile on her face.

I relax and feel a slight pinch. Logan is by my side laughing. I look at him questioningly.

"Just open your eyes." he wraps his arms around Katie and I, keeping us warm in the now freezing weather.

"My eyes are open." I look at him like he's gone insane.

"I promise you'll be alright. I'm not letting go. You're my brother. And I cant lose you." Logan's eyes begin to tear and he smiles warmly at me.

"I'm here Kendall, can you here me?" Mom walks up to Logan, Katie, and I. Wraps her arms around us and has the same expression as Logan, Katie too.

"We're all here for you man." James and Carlos walk out of the white cloudy fog and wrap their arms around us all.

"No matter what happens, we'll always love you." I burst into tears and watch my family float away from me, leaving me in the white clouds.

"Just a little more." an unfamiliar voice.

"Oh Kendall!" Mom.

I open my eyes to my family hovering over me.

"Wha-what just happened? Where's our house? Where am I?" I here a bleeping by the side of my head. A heart monitor.

"Everyone has crazy dreams when they go into sugary, but you. Your different, we couldn't keep your heart rate down to operate, you may as well have been awake." the doctor smiles at me lightly.

"Sugary? What happened? What happened?" the bleeping increases and my breath shortens. "What happened? Where am I? Where a-!" my voice cuts off and I can only stay silent and listen.

"Nurse get this family out of here!" The Doctor rushes around the room, shoving different needles and tubes into my arm. "He's going into cardiac arrest! We need more help!" now everyone is out of the room, its me and more doctors.

All goes black as I here doctors screaming back and forth what they need.

I'm now stuck in my black, dark, and cold conscious. Waiting to be awoken.

**Ya so I felt like something intense and shocking and all. I loved typing it because my heart was racing from soda and sugar and more! Okay so comment, Favorite, ect. Hey wait! You guys all know what to do don't you? Ha! Then why am I telling you this? Oh I don't know… I'm just too hyper! Okay so comment because I don't know if this is good or not, I typed it in about 2 hours, my mom is forcing me to get off now. So if there is any spelling mistakes, name errors, or just something you don't like, well please inform me about it! Okay well have a nice day/night/thing and party! Ya! Okay night!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey people! I'm listening, and singing, to Viva La Vida by Coldplay. Now Runaway by Bon Jovi! So in the first chapter Kendall was sleeping in a hospital, how did that happen? Well you'd have to read to find out! From beginning to the near end Kendall was having a dream and woke up, he started freaking out and went into cardiac arrest. Doctors are now operating on him! So we gotta get back to the story stat! P.S.- this chapter it told from James's point of view.**

"We'll inform you when Kendall is well, for now you can head back home and we'll give you a call when his body is more stable. It's getting late so I suggest you all try to get some sleep." the nurse working at the front desk smiles at us warmly.

We make it to the car and all is silent. The eerie silence grows.

Once inside Katie runs into her room. We all turned questioned heads at one another, Mr. Knights shakes her head softly and goes to check on Katie.

"I think I'm going to go to sleep now…I hope Kendall get's well…" Logan walks to his room, a saddened face, tears brimming his eyes.

"Well this sucks!" Carlos exclaims, throwing his hands in the air with exasperation.

"Just calm down man, this isn't like you." I walk up to Carlos and put a welcoming hand on his shoulder.

"I know…" Carlos breaks down crying again.

"Shh…shh…" I wrap my arms around Carlos and let him cry into my shoulder.

"Why…him…" Carlos croaks out in a scratchy voice.

"Its only fait…we can never change it…its not in our hands…" I squeeze him tight, not enough to hurt him, and start to softly weep.

"I know…its all so much though…" he croaks out again and shudders.

"Shh, common man…" I whisper to him softly in between sobs.

"Okay…" Carlos speaks out softly. We go back to our room we share and close the door silently.

"I hate this as much as you man…but we have to do the best we can to keep this out of the press's hands…he'd never be left alone if they got there hands on this…" I'm now laying on my bed looking up at the ceiling with my hands folded across my stomach.

"Ya…why do people have to be so dumb?" Carlos sighs, letting a tear fall down his face. "Why does there ever need to be alcohol in our world?" he throws his hands up and lays down on the bed.

"It's never going to go away…we can only try and talk to someone about it…get educated, we don't know much…this sucks…" I got up and chose some pajama pants from the draws, tossing a pair at Carlos and changing into mine.

"Thanks man…" he changes into them, gets on a white T-shirt and goes under his covers.

"Welcome." I smile at him, change into a similar T-shirt and fold my covers to get in. "I'm going to say goodnight to Katie and Mrs. Knight first, be right back." I walk out into the kitchen.

"Hey James…" Mrs. Knight smiles at me softly. "You okay?" she looks at me, her eyes bloodshot from crying so much, skin irritated from wiping away all the tears.

"Ya…just wanted water…and to see how you and Katie are doing…" I finish filling my cup and take a sip, leaning on the counter with it in my hands.

"I just wouldn't expect this to happen to him…my poor baby boy…" Mrs. Knight looks as if she's about to cry, but no tears come, she is too tired and worn out to continue her sorrow tonight.

"I know this is difficult…but we all need rest…is Katie asleep?" I look at her calmly, trying to keep my tension down to relax her a little.

"Yes…I stayed with her till she fell asleep…she didn't want to talk about it…just to clear her mind so she doesn't break down again." Mrs. Knight smiles softly. "She's such a smart, young, and beautiful girl…" she finishes, closing her eyes and leaning her head down a little.

"I think you need to get some rest Mrs. Knight." I smile and slowly bring her to her room. "Sleep well…" I softly shut the door and head to my room.

I go under my covers and try to relax a little.

"James?" Carlos's small voice enters the silent room.

"Yes?" I turn over, ready to turn off my nightstand's light.

"Do you ever think its our fault he started hanging with those kinds of people?" he looks at me with childishly pleading eyes.

"It is never our fault…only his…he chose to do this, not us…okay?" I look at him across the room with tired eyes.

Carlos nods at me and turns over, facing the wall. "Good night…" he mumbles.

I turn over also to face the wall, well my wall, and say softly. "I wish it was…"

The room is silent and I hear Carlos's small snore break the silence, his easy breathing lulls me to sleep and soon I'm resting peacefully in my mind getting the energy I need for the day to come.

Only to be woken up what seems like seconds after by yelling and rushing around this house.

"Common James!" Carlos is shaking me and I jump out of bed in a daze.

"Okay?" I mumble, stifling a yawn, and got clothes thrown in my face.

"Get dressed!" Carlos yells from across the room as he tries to get on his pants.

"Uhg…" I get on my pants and throw on the shirt and rush out the door to the kitchen where everyone is waiting.

"Ready to go?" Mrs. Knight looks around at everyone, sees we're dressed, grabs bags, and heads out the front door.

Katie follows behind, not saying anything. Carlos pulls me along.

"The hospital called and said Kendall was getting better. They said we can come in and say hi." Carlos smiles at me.

As soon as we're all in a buckled up Mrs. Knight heads toward the hospital.

**Okay! So that's this chapter! Ya I don't know what to say in this ending note because I am too tired write now! Haha, so yes I know I took a while to type this up but I've been procrastinating and now I gotta get off so bye! Hope you liked it! Thanks for the last comments, favorites, ect.! Peace!**


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